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Saturday, November 24, 2007DESTINYI have been counting over the past 2 weeks...and the final results are in. College Football analysts have said the following phrase 1,457,296 times: [insert team name] controls their own destiny.OK...I realize that we tend to over dramatize sporting events. {see Tiger Woods "Golfing from the depths of his golfing soul"...you get bonus points if you know what terrible idiotic announcer said that one) But it seems to me that talking about destiny is wayyyyy over the top. Start counting...I bet you hit 100,000 by Wednesday On the plus side for Missouri and West Virginia...they both (cue echoing deep voice) CONTROL THEIR OWN DESTINY!!!!!   Subscribe to the DIA FeedLabels: College Football Friday, November 16, 2007Whew...I am exhausted! I was planning on writing a post about Barry Bonds. But I wasn't sure what to write...I am guessing anything clever that can be said about it has already been written. But here goes: He has a bigger head than normal! hee heee Ahh...see what I mean? Anyway...I was going to write a longer post about Bonds and his relationship with Greg Anderson (the guy who spent a year in prison because he refused to testify against Bonds). I imagine their conversation today was a bit awkward. So I was going to write about that, but then I checked the comments from my earlier posts. Go back and read my post called "Ummmm...Who Cares?" Then read the first comment. It's my first bit of hate mail! Very exciting. It's unfortunate this gentleman (actually, I am assuming it was a man...I could be wrong here) wrote in anonymously. It's also very unfortunate that this person didn't read my post carefully and made some rather large assumptions. I should warn you that there is some inappropriate language in his carefully worded message. I am fully confident I did not respond properly. And for that I feel kind of bad. But my question to you is this: Is he right? Am I in the wrong? Am I racist?!? Subscribe to the DIA FeedLabels: Barry Bonds Tuesday, November 13, 2007UC Football = Firstborn ChildOK, so today I was driving home from work listening to Lance McAlister (a local sports talk show host). I generally like Lance...sometimes he goes overboard and starts to squeal a bit, but he isn't a shock jock or anything like. Usually he is pretty well thought out. Today wasn't so hot though. Lance was talking about UC football and basically how he is ashamed at the city for not supporting the team. OK...that might be true I guess. Although I'm not sure why it matters if people are there or not. Shouldn't you be playing to win, no matter if there are 10 people there or 100,000? Anyway...then he played a clip of former UC player and current radio analyst Jason Collins Baker. Baker proceeded to eviscerate the people of Cincinnati for not supporting the team. Then he said something like this, "It's like when my kid is playing the trumpet. He's no good. But I still encourage him. I still tell him to keep on doing it. And even if he ends up not being any good...he will still know that he can accomplish things because I was there with him." OK. First of all...I hope he doesn't have a kid. But the way he was talking it sure sounded personal. Sucks to go to school the next day and have all the kids make fun of you because your dad told the city that you suck at the trumpet. Nice encouragement there dad! Second...DID YOU JUST COMPARE ENCOURAGING YOUR OWN CHILDREN TO ENCOURAGING A COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM? I think so. I don't know how to react to that. I don't have any kids, but my guess is that the dynamics are a little different. Maybe he's right though. Maybe the next time his son misses a note while sucking at the trumpet, Baker should make him go push a tackling sled around. So I was shocked after hearing this. Even more shocked when Lance (a super family man) agreed with him. But wait...there's more!! The next caller said that he played at UC with Baker and said Baker is a great guy (probably true). He then said this...which is so awesome it gets it's own little section: What makes me mad is when I walk around the city and see people with OSU, Kentucky and Notre Dame hats on! I mean...you go up to them and ask if they went to school there...and like 4 out of 10 don't really have an association with the schoolok...give me a second...I'm not good at math. ok...take 6...divide by 10...add 4...carry the 1...ummm... Wait!! This means that 60% of his made up people do have an association with the school! HEY STUPID CALLER...IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE A MADE UP STRAW POLL WITH MADE UP STATISTICS...YOU MIGHT WANT TO MAKE UP NUMBERS THAT WOULD ACTUALLY HELP YOUR MADE UP ARGUMENT. STUPID. (note the bolded and italicized emphasis!) Certainly not a good advertisement for the education levels at UC. Actually...his numbers aren't complete. My follow up survey shows that 1 out of 1 people who call in to radio shows and played football with Jason Collins Baker are idiots. Subscribe to the DIA FeedLabels: Lance McAlister, UC Bearcats Monday, November 12, 2007ummm...who cares?I don't want to sound mean here (isn't it funny how whenever anyone says that - they always sound mean anyway. It's like me saying "no offense...but you are terribly ugly!" Oh...well, I was going to get mad...but you said no offense. So it's ok!) Anyway, at the risk of sounding mean: who cares that Kanye West's mom died? Obviously besides family members and other loved ones. It is of course sad when someone dies "before their time" (which would be a statement I would argue...but that isn't what this post is about). My question is...why is it front page news (on cnn.com) that Kayne West's mother died after a "cosmetic procedure"? I don't understand why this is newsworthy. I mean...if Kayne West himself had died, yes that would be shocking and newsworthy...because he is famous for doing something. She is not famous. She is just a lady who happened to be the mom of a famous person. Were there big news stories when Paul McCartney's father died? What about Colin Powell? Where were the front page stories when Hank Aaron's mother passed away? I hope Kayne West doesn't have any pets...otherwise I will have to see daily updates when the poor kitty dies. Subscribe to the DIA FeedLabels: News Wednesday, November 7, 2007Malapropisms = FunnyI think it's funny when people mix up phrases and use malapropisms. Even on the odd occasion that I make a mistake...it's still funny. The best ones are the ones that people continue to use over and over again because they think they are saying it correctly. I know someone who says Great minds on the same wavelength!!!Close. It's a mix between "Great minds think alike" and "We must be on the same wavelength" (or some variation of that). Here are some more funny ones: "I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?" (i.e. oblivion) — Mike TysonI love Mike Tyson. Do you know of any funny malapropisms? Subscribe to the DIA FeedLabels: People Monday, November 5, 2007Shameless Self PromotionHey everyone...I was going to write today about the Bengals...but I am too sad to do that. I hope they lose every game for the rest of the season and get a top 5 draft pick. Anyway...I wanted to get in some shameless self promotion here. I recently set up a MySpace page for my music. IF you have a MySpace account, go ahead and drop me a line. Also available on that page is a way to buy my music, either in single form or in album form. Single tracks cost 89 cents and albums cost $7.99, so it is cheaper than iTunes. You can also buy the tracks through the store right here!! See below : Subscribe to the DIA FeedLabels: Music
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