Wednesday, June 20, 2007

3 Questions - Abby Wilson (episode II)

3 Questions is back!!!!!!!! yipee!!!! Hurrayyyy!!!!!

sorry.

Anyway...in case you don't remember, or if you are new to DIA, this is a segment where I ask somebody 3 questions. We then both answer them. CLEVER!!

Our guest this episode is, once again, Abby Wilson. Abby is a superstar writer for the MTV show "Rob & Big" (Tuesday Nights, 10:30). She is also my sister.

Question 1
What was the worst song of the '90's

Abby

The 1990's produced a prolific amount of forgettable songs, and even more unfortunate, a ghastly amount of songs we WISH we could forget. "Tubthumping," from the regrettably named Chumbawumba, and Aqua's "Barbie Girl" are chief among them. However, I feel compelled to state that my very least favorite song of the 90's happens to also be my least favorite song of all time. I award this dubious honor to a little ditty penned by Los Del Rio, circa the personally very awkward year of 1995: the Macarena. There are oh, so many features to hate about this song. Its unimaginative repetition of both lyric and melody, its accompanying unattractive dance moves, its unbelievable frequency of play and subsequent mind-boggling popularity. But, perhaps you loved this song. Perhaps you knew and memorized all of its lyrics, or even any of them other than the word "macarena." Perhaps you enjoyed your hands firmly planted on the crown of your head as you playfully swung your hips from side to side. If any of these statements ring even the tiniest of bells of truth within you, I am certain you and I cannot be friends.

Adam

The worst song of the 1990's is hard to nail down to be honest. But that's true about every decade I suppose. There is really one song that jumps out at me though. It's called "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something. The song is catchy enough, so I can't fault it there. But what gets me are the lyrics. How terrible those lyrics are!! We'll just take a look at the chorus:

And I said, What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, I think I remember that film
Yes, I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it
well, I guess, that's one thing we've got!

So your relationship is based on the fact that you may or may not have watched a movie together. And you thought only it was an OK movie? Really? Now if the songwriter had a history of "storytelling" then I can see how this would fly...but this is just some loser talking about his ex-girlfriend. Miserable lyrics. MISERABLE. On the plus side...you now have that song in your head! hahahahahaha.

Question 2
What is Your Greatest Athletic Achievement?

Abby

I don't have any great, or even good, athletic moments, although I did once score 100% of my basketball team's points in a single game. (We lost 40-1) I have many more moments where I felt like I was going to be really athletic and it turned out that I was very, very wrong. In fact, I can't even barely round corners without banging my shoulders. Even recently, I displayed an incredible lack of athletic ability at my place of work. Since I'm currently working on Rob & Big (MTV! Tuesday! 10:30! Watch it!), we have skateboards all around the office. On nice, stable, comfy carpet I enjoyed standing on the board and systematically convincing myself over a period of several weeks that not only could I skate like a pro, I could do a myriad of tricks. One afternoon I was called into another office for a meeting. "Great," I thought. "I'll just roll right on over. I'm just eyeballing it, but it looks like the other doorway is, oh…12 inches away. No problem." Naturally, everyone else had accumulated in the other room already and all eyes were on me as I began my foot -long journey. Exactly one inch off the safety of the carpet, I found myself, as cartoon characters often do, hovering momentarily about four feet off the ground, legs curiously splayed above my head. I met with the ground rather quickly. With all of my friends and co-workers watching in horror, I quickly hopped up and assured them I was fine. Sadly, I felt obliged to prove this point by once again stepping onto the board, and once again experiencing my painful trip to the concrete. Amid sharp inhalations and hands-to-mouths from those watching, I abandoned the skateboard and gingerly took my seat at the meeting. Thankfully, my ego doesn't bruise as easily as my elbow.

Adam

This is a tough one to be honest. I have had so many great athletic moments in my life. There is the time that I got hit in the stomach by a pitch...during warm ups. There is the time that I got a volleyball smashed off my face. And of course, there are the times where I get badly injured during every game I play. But none of those are my moment of athletic glory. No, that is reserved for the time I played wiffle ball in my grandmother's back yard.

The year was 1989 (maybe) and the family was out playing ball. We had a bunch of people playing wiffle ball in the backyard. Someone hit the ball over the 4 foot high chain link fence, so I opted to climb over and get it. I successfully traversed the fence, retrieved the ball, and threw it back to Mickey, my cousin's boyfriend at the time. I bounded back up the fence when Mickey yelled, "Hey Adam! Catch!" He threw the ball to me. Now...you should know that I take a lot of pride in my defense in that I let nothing past me. So I reached up to catch the ball. There was no way I was letting it back over the fence! I grabbed the ball...and went tumbling down the other side of the fence, landing on my head.

After I woke up, I proudly stood, displayed the ball that I was still holding, and continued the game. Or I possibly cried and ran to my mom. It was definitely one of the two.

Question 3
What is The Greatest Book Ever?

Abby

First of all, I assume you are excluding the Bible. I am going to have to further warp the title of "Greatest Book Ever" to mean, "Greatest Book Ever (excluding the Bible) That You Have Read In The Past Five To Ten Years and Really Enjoyed But Is Probably Not Even On The Radar In Terms Of Greatest Books Ever In The Entire History Of The Written Word, However You Liked It Anyway." That being said, I'd have to go with "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers," by Mary Roach. Ms. Roach is a former travel journalist who decided to write a book about what happens to your body after you die. Or rather, what CAN happen to your body if you donate it to science. Severed heads, plastic surgery practice, crash testing, grave robbing – it is all extremely fascinating and somehow very, very humorous. But, you don't have to take my word for it!

{take a look...it's in a book...it's Reading Rainbow!}

Adam

The greatest book of all time is Matilda, by Roald Dahl. It's got everything! A smart protagonist? Check (Matilda). A terrible antagonist? Check (Ms. Trunchbull). Hilarity? Check (When Matilda makes Ms. Trunchbull think there is a ghost in the room. heee heee!) A hero? Check (Ms. Honey...the only person who believed in Matilda.) Also, I think the ending was good...but I forgot it.

If that is not the greatest book of all-time, then "The Kid Who Only Hit Homers", by Matt Christopher, is. You see...the kid couldn't hit the ball. Then some weird guy who was always watching the boy when he practiced alone helped him out. He would come over to the kids house every day and practice. Naturally the kid's parents were not there. Then they would go to the ball park and sit under the bleachers together....ohhh...ooooo...this is awkward...I didn't realize until now the book was about a pedophile...yikes...

I guess I'll go with Matilda

Labels: 3 Questions, Abby Wilson, Books, Music

Posted by Adam Wilson :: 6:03 PM :: 0 comments

Post a Comment

---------------oOo---------------

Thursday, February 22, 2007

3 Questions

This is a new feature on DIA. In it, I ask someone 3 questions and they answer them. I will also answer the questions. Today my guest is Abby Wilson. She is my sister.

Question #1
What is the all-time greatest music video? Why?

Abby

My candidates included Tom Petty’s Last Dance With Mary Jane and Thriller by Michael Jackson. But so very obviously, the best music video ever has got to be Hello by Lionel Richie. First of all, it’s an actual little movie with dialogue and everything. Lionel’s a…I want to say college professor? And he’s got a creepy stalker crush on a blind student, which is all very Mary Kay Letourneau but somehow okay here. The climax, and best part, is when Blind Chick finally spins around the sculpture she’s been working on and a horrible monster is revealed. “This is how I see you,” she explains, and it looks nothing like him. Granted, she is blind. It actually reminds me of when I got a caricature done once and everyone else before me looked exactly like their drawing and then in mine I had devil eyes and weird teeth and it made me seriously depressed. Unlike me, however, Professor Richie takes this slap in the horribly grotesque face of clay like a champ and is totally down with it. The music video is all around awesome and very, very 80’s and the best part is that the video actually compliments a great song.

Adam

I say the all time greatest music video is "Freak on a Leash" by Korn. (I don't know how to type a backwards "R"...anyone?) This video is awesome for a couple of reasons.

• The Cinematography is great.
• What's better than following a bullet as it passes through everything in its path? It's like a super magic bullet. I suspect this is the same bullet that killed JFK. I'm surprised Oliver Stone hasn't looked into this. Although it looks like he is too busy making movies about bisexual ancient Greek kings
• The video starts in animation and tells a (quick) story about a kid playing hopscotch...on the edge of a cliff. For some reason this makes the security guard (cop?) really mad. He angrily runs after her instead of just trying to help her. Eventually he falls (I suppose he is clumsy) and drops his gun...and it shoots her in the back. Then the real video starts.
• There is plenty of slow motion destruction (you know how I feel about slow mo!)
• The song is wicked awesome

That pretty much makes it the most awesomeset video ever. Either that or "You Can Call me Al" by Paul Simon. I mean...it's got Chevy Chase making funny faces!!!!

Question #2
Pretend a deviation from the procedure from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is available and you could remove one celebrity from your (and everyone else's) consciousness...who would it be? Why?

Abby

I will choose to eradicate Clay Aiken. He makes me want to break his glasses and then punch him in the freckles. I also think he looks like a girl named Megan. The thing is, he’d actually be more tolerable as a full-blown Liberace-style queen. Own the gay, Clay. And also grow a sense of humor. And also stop singing. And then also? Stop singing.

Adam

Ironically I chose Simon Cowell. So it appears the Wilson kids don't like American Idol much. The reason I chose Simon Cowell is just because he is responsible for all that garbage. I don't really have anything against him personally. In fact, I like people with British accents. Especially if they are cranky all the time. I just don't like the show. I also would like to get rid of anyone who dates Scarlett Johannson.

Question #3
Who is TV's greatest character? Why?

Abby

Without a doubt, the greatest TV character ever is George Costanza (a.k.a. Art Vandelay). The reasons are numerous and self evident, but I will name the first three things that come to my head – he’s got a bed under his desk, he’s got beautiful hands, and has, on his answering machine, possibly the best outgoing message ever recorded.

Adam

I can't argue much with George Costanza. He is pretty good. And it is hard to argue with Abby on television characters because she is more knowledgeable on that topic. She is wrong though. The obvious greatest character is MacGyver. Think about it. He had a mullet. He hated violence. He hurt his hand every time he punched someone (only when he HAD to punch someone, he didn't like to do it. Because he hated violence). He worked for some mysterious company called The Phoenix Foundation, which for some reason spent its time and resources fighting crime. Basically, MacGyver is a super hero, but real. Oh yeah...I almost forgot...HE COULD DIFFUSE A NUCLEAR WEAPON WITH SILLY STRING AND A BANANA. Even with all that...there is a chance he wasn't as awesome as Murdoc. I'll never forget the episode when MacGyver had to go through a bunch of problem solving quizzes and booby traps at Murdoc's house. Outstanding. Thanks to Wikipedia, here is a List of Problems Solved by Macgyver.

I hope you have enjoyed this edition of Three Questions. Look back for more in the near future.

Labels: 3 Questions, Abby Wilson, Music, TV

Posted by Adam Wilson :: 5:51 PM :: 1 comments

Post a Comment

---------------oOo---------------